Desiderata
by Tune4Toons
Summary: I wouldn't call him stupid if I were you.


Author's Note: Just to disclaim, I'm pretty sure you know I don't own anything.

I'm just taking a break from _BC:UG_ for a while and hoping to work on some new one shots (too many to count, argh!). This is a style I've never tried before, so expect it (and this story in general) to come out at least a little strange. That doesn't mean I want you to go easy on the criticism though. Go all out if you want to.

You rarely see DK-centric fics, don't you? I hope you enjoy this nonetheless~

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**~Desiderata~**

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He wanted a banana.

The large brown ape followed the scent to his wooden hut in the rainforest. Fixing the signature red tie adorned on his neck, he tromped over the dirt path after an exhausting day of barrel-canon shooting. There, his little house stood over the rushing river.

Walking inside, he was greeted by the creak of the floorboards beneath him. Then he spotted the very thing he wanted: a golden bright banana sitting on the table next to an envelope he had never seen earlier. Scratching his furry head, he stared at the letter first before opening it up. His eyes get to see the very words that would bring joy to his face.

_Super Smash Brothers_. He was chosen yet again, and he knew who to expect to see once more.

He wanted to have fun.

The familiar white light engulfed him and he found himself by the doorsteps of Smash Mansion. A purest-white castle that stood on top of a grassy hill. Bursting through the doors, the ape's stomach grumbled a bit, making him realize he forgot to eat his banana.

A few steps into the marble halls and he ended up getting tackled down by a medley of children. "Donkey Kong!" was what they cheered. Donkey Kong loved kids. They would always hug him and drag him along to play with them. Today, they played tag. Each rumble made by the ape's steps made them giggle and run away whenever he was "it".

After that, the crew stopped and rested along on the wall to catch their breaths. The girl who wore a pink parka then mentioned how there were supposed to be some newcomers arriving.

He wanted to make more friends.

Just like the last tournament, he was led by Ness, the kid in the baseball cap, over to Master Hand's office where they had him meet the newcomers. Remembering back, each child was heartbroken when they learned that Young Link wasn't going to return to the tournament this year. At least now, they hoped to see who else will be able to join their motley group.

Donkey Kong was as excited as ever, thinking of possible new people he could befriend. He raced over to the fabled door with heavy feet and hands; the ground shaking from every foot or palm. Faster and faster, he outran the children as he looked back over his shoulder. Facing forward again, he wasn't prepared for the office to be only a few inches in front of him. His speed was too fast; he couldn't stop.

Then he smashed through the wooden door and stumbled into the room. There, 13 new faces stared at the ape with disbelief. He smiled at the sight of the only familiar figure, a small brown chimp with a cap resting on his head. Diddy Kong, his chippy little nephew. Even the chimp shrieked with delight.

Too bad everyone else said the same thing.

"Stupid ape."

Who knows if some had meant it, but the ape knew that the short knight and lupine mercenary did. If not just them, then also both the bearded and the moustached men (and possibly the blue jackal as well). No, they all were thinking that, not only those people. Donkey Kong frantically looked at each face in shock. He stared at the green chibi child and a blond boy, who were both trying to suppress their uttered giggles. The angel and the teen in red brought their gazes away. The other four merely ignored him.

He wanted to prove to everyone that he wasn't stupid.

The one thing he hated to be called. Forget his name, forget he was an ape, forget he was pretty brawn. A pet peeve, you could call it. His veins nearly popped out as his hands balled up into fists… Breathe. _Not now_, he thought. He was willing to wait until they were at the arena.

The ape couldn't bear to look at anyone else before he felt his blood boil. His fingers remained clenched together, but he kept his urges intact. He quickly stomped out of the room before he could cause any more damage.

The children felt his menacing aura, and they stepped out of his way. Into his room, the ape charged in and plopped onto the mattress in hopes of calming down. Those newcomers, thinking he was stupid. How wrong they were, and he was going to prove it. "But how?" was the question at hand. His tense muscles relaxed as he went deep into thought.

_How?_ That question kept popping up. He couldn't speak (though sometimes he wished he could). The stereotypes were buried too deep in society. He may not have been the smartest, but he certainly wasn't "stupid". The ape stared at his fist. He could easily beat them in combat when given the chance.

Then a new goal entered his mind.

He wanted to win the tournament.

The ape waited for the day the fighting began, and he entered his respective portal in the basement of the manor. He stepped onto the round metal platform and closed his eyes. Donkey Kong was ready. And the light consumed him whole.

* * *

Each Smasher that came his way (big, small, fast, heavy) was punched, grabbed, and thrown out of the ring. The ape kept going, never stopping or giving up until his opponents were defeated. Strategies were tested, and he found that the best one was to dodge and overkill. Despite the sweat that crowned his face, he pummelled through with success. He enjoyed the feeling of his fist connecting with their faces. The grunts, yells, screams. The cheer of the crowd that came to watch on the floating stands.

Finally, the ape faced his last opponent: Ike. He couldn't bear the thought that the spiky-haired swordsman considered him as unintelligent. Ike kept him bouncing backwards as he tried to dodge his broadsword. The ape was already driven towards the edge, feet standing where the platform had crumbled. Beads of sweat dotted his face. _No, not now_. He couldn't afford to lose.

Then Ike swung his sword, but it was caught in the ape's hands and ripped away from his grip. Donkey Kong threw it off the edge before grabbing the man by his collar. Turning around, he held the blunet as far as he could away from the platform; Ike's eyes had widened as he struggled to break free. Victory was his; there was no denying it. Then the ape released the man as he watched him fall down into the endless pit.

The tournament was won, declaring the ape as victor. At the ceremony, he stared down at each person he knew had ever called him "stupid". Their widened eyes, their trembles, their beading sweat, their wavered composure. He was satisfied with just that, and he walked away each time, leaving them unharmed (yet with a slight emotional scar).

But he wasn't quite happy. It was like there was a missing puzzle piece to his satisfaction. His stomach grumbled, but he chose to ignore it for the moment. If only he could ask someone to help come up with ideas. Then a thought clicked in his head.

He wanted to be able to speak.

Donkey Kong had heard the intergalatical language being spoken a countless number of times, whether it'd be from the plumbers, the princess, everywhere! So why couldn't his voice do the same? He already understood what people were saying, but his mouth couldn't seem to mimic the words.

First, he approached the Star Fox members Fox and Falco. Perhaps with their technology, they could create something for him? They shook their heads to say "no", and the ape was left to search for options elsewhere. Donkey Kong wondered if he should ask Wolf O'Donnell the same question, but then he remembered the newcomers' incident and decided to leave it be.

But he knew there was another. Someone willing to try it out and give him what he needed. The man himself left the roster after the second tournament, but his purpose still remained in the mansion.

Dr. Mario.

The ape quickly ran over to the doctor's office, conveniently located near the portals in the basement. Once found, Donkey Kong had to charade his request, pointing at his mouth and down his throat. Immediately, the moustached doctor understood and they got to work. He started by drinking a blue and red pill…

* * *

One day, the ape awoke from his bed, barely able to stand. His eyes drooped, but he had to return to Dr. Mario for more testing. Then someone pounded on his door screaming "Diddy Kong's getting kicked out! DK, get up!"

"WHAT?" he screamed. Wait… he just said _what_. The experiments, did they work? A fuzzy feeling overwhelmed him for a second, but then he remembered what the person was yelling. Diddy Kong was being forced to leave, meaning the Hands were behind this.

He wanted to stand up to the Hands.

The ape noticed the abuse the Hands had been giving to everyone, using their hierarchic powers to their advantage. Donkey Kong had seen people left to go without sleep because they wanted to see if that would affect their battling skills. People left as hungry, overworked, sugar-filled, or getting kicked out, all done for the sake of curiosity or favouritism. An end to that was what he wished for, and action was what he decided to take.

Stomping into the office, he spoke to them with his newly created voice, and at first they floated in disbelief. Then they laughed. Oh, how they laughed. The ape felt his heat rising up to his head as he restrained the will to punch. He spoke once more, possibly striking a cord, but he didn't care.

"Don't be stupid."

For once, he got to inflict that word to another. Two others, to be exact. They were silent for a while. Then both hands snapped their fingers. Donkey Kong's vision was soon clouded with the flash of a white light. For a few seconds, all was blinding. Green quickly replaced the hue and trees materialized in front of him. Beside the ape was a small simian in a baseball cap, confused and dazed.

He wanted to get stronger.

Through the forest he travelled, not wishing to speak another word. His stomach grumbled, but his anger allowed him to ignore it. Donkey Kong was also concern about Diddy Kong. From the sharp glint in the young chimp's eyes, their resolution was the same.

Never again will they let others gain control over them.

* * *

Just like yesterday and the continuous days before, they trained for battle with objects they could scavenge; trees, vines, boulders, barrels. Blood and sweat became the usual results of their routines. Donkey Kong oversaw his nephew's growth, always wondering why he was kicked out of the tournament to begin with; Diddy Kong's peanut shooting was far more accurate now. As for himself… His composure had hardened, gazes were sharp, fists controlled. One look in a pond's reflection, and he could no longer recognize it.

A dark cloud covered the sky. Gusts started picking up, blowing Diddy Kong's hat away. Grabbing hold of it before it floated off of the cliff, Donkey Kong witnessed a stream of violaceous bubbles falling onto the earth. From its pool rose purple and green soldiers. Quickly, their numbers grew by the thousands. They trampled the land as their Shadow Bugs sucked the life out of the planet.

The ape knew exactly what to do.

He wanted to stop their advancements.

He hopped off the the cliff and ran towards the plain where he spotted the soldiers. Unbeknownst to him, many figures had seen the rising as well and were flying, running, driving over to the scene. Diddy Kong followed his uncle in pursuit, eventually arriving at the foot of the flat, dead battlefield. The ape stood in front of the forest and watched what laid beyond the horizon. A thin blue figure with wings took command of the soldiers, two chained hands by his side.

The ape heard the crack of a branch, and he flipped back around. Never did he expect to see what he saw.

The original 11 who were there since the first tournament joined up behind him. The plumber brothers, the Pokémon, the humans, the vulpine pilot and Hylian swordsman… Shortly after, he noticed more Smashers peeking out of the bushes. One by one, familiar figures trickled out into the open. What surprised him was that even the five that were once forced to leave joined the Smashers in combat.

The army of Primids arisen. Before him, his comrades backed up his resolve. Even those who once thought of him as a simpleton gladly took arms beside him; the swordsman with the spiky blue hair offered the simian a smile of approval. Donkey Kong yelled out a battle cry and the small army charged towards the numerous amount of foes. Together, they shared the same wish the ape had.

They wanted to save the world.

The army of 42 charged forward towards the enemy, who were more than prepared to battle. Swords, guns, and fists met with Primid arms, each obliterated upon impact. The ape cleared a path through the soldier bodies and rushed straight towards the boss.

A blue hedgehog raced through the crowd, passing Donkey Kong and knocking the winged man back. The ape then lept up, grabbed the chains which bounded the Hands, and ripped them apart; the binds shattered and they were free.

Master Hand and Crazy Hand snapped their fingers before spreading far apart; a warp hole formed behind the boss. Then the hands rushed towards each other with blinding speed, smashing the figure in between. They released the blue enemy when Donkey Kong kept up once more. The ape pulled back his fist before sending it straight into the figure's stomach. With a satisfying smack, the blue boss was sentchuffing through the portal. Then it closed in an instant.

Exhaustion befell Donkey Kong, and he collapsed flat onto the ground. His body lay sprawled across the dirt as he let out a sigh. Blank eyes stared at the sky, no thoughts streaming into his mind. Then his stomach grumbled at once. After all that time, he'd nearly forgotten his first wish.

Now he just wanted a banana.

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Tune4Toons: The inspiration from this came from the song _Handlebars_ by _Flobots_. *points at disclaimer just in case* It's pretty good; give it a listen when you can. Also, this story wasn't meant to coincide with the Subspace Emissary (but had some elements/moments from it).

I admit, this was a little "out-there" compared to others. The pacing of this story was what I had difficulty with, because I'm not used to so much time-skipping. Constructive criticism and feedback are always appreciated.

Stay tuned, and I hope you enjoyed that.


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